Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
