i just google imaged poop.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
