I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
