i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
