um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
