My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
