we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
