He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
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she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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