shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
