the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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