I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm passing your future prison.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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