trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
