Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
