Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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