this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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