ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
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