he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
