my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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