Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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