so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
