mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize