Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
