she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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