Three words: puerto rican gang bang
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
