Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
