dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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