please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
