i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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