as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
