my mouth tastes like poor choices
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
