i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize