i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize