It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
