i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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