Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize