dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
