we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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