Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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