yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
