their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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