I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I need a beard to bite.
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