saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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