i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
