I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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