Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
