he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize