oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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