And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
