i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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