idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
