No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
