ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.