you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
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at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
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I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected