I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
I am in a vortex of obligation.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts