Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT