party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that