Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
