She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
