Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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