it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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