The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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