***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
