i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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