Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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