Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
