I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
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Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
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Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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