she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize