Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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