Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
