is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
