It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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