OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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